frutti.gummi

When I met up with friends whom I haven't seen for a long time, the usual questions I get from most one of them are:

• Why did you come back and work here/Why don't you stay there?
• Am I getting used to living in Malaysia?
• Am I'm back for good?

And my short answers are; This is home, it's ok/not bad, and for now, yes. Even the long answers could be summarized as such. But I haven't considered how I feel. Am I happy? Excited? Disappointed? Frustrated?

It's been a hundred days since I started my "new" life. I'm back to being a responsible adult, going back into the workforce, and contribute to the country's economy. I also started to participate strongly in family matters. On the surface, everything seems like how it used to be. The going to work, going home, going out routine has made the transition easier, due to familiarity.

When I 'look' closely, I noticed all the little details that are different. I work for the same company, but about half of my colleagues are new to me, and I have different job responsibilities. Well, even the office is located at a different place now. I actually quite like this mix of something familiar with something new. I guess I'm pretty much exhausted from all the completely new experiences that I got in the past few years.

I'm also glad that I now play a larger role in my family. I feel less helpless now that I can physically be around for them. I spend a lot more time with them and there's more communication going on. So far so good but still a long way to become one of reasons for me to stay put.

I'm not exactly used to living back in Malaysia yet. I hate the hot weather but I can tolerate it better now. I have to consciously remember not to fill my cup with water from the tap. I feel displeased when I see people who carry lots of plastic bags and when I come across trash that's filled with recyclable stuff in it. Anyway, all these do not annoy me enough for me to consider moving away.

I'm currently open to the possibility that I would stay in Malaysia for the long term and I've finally discovered one thing that I would stick around for. However, I still have no idea whether I would be able to obtain it.

These first hundred days have mostly been about adapting to living with family, living in Malaysia, and holding down a job. I think I have fared pretty well so far. Next, it's time to think about what I want to do with my life.

"Where are you from?" I have been asked this question almost everytime when I meet new people in Europe. This almost never happened in the States. After they know where I'm from, they're usually interested to know more about the country and its people. And this is a problem for me. When they asked what language I speak at home, I said "English". Then they would want to know what is the national/official language and I said "Malay" and they assumed I also speak it. But due to my hesitation, they weren't so sure about it. Friends who have seen two non-Malay Malaysians in conversation were puzzled as to why it was carried out in English and not Malay. So they asked "When do you use Malay then?" In terms of entertainment, I know we have some local shows and music scenes but I can't name them because I only know the imported ones. And traditional dance? I don't remember! I did it in primary school and haven't seen one in ages. Oh it's funny when it comes to names. Why do I have an American/English name? What's a typical Malaysian name? I don't know how to answer. At least in terms of food, I've managed to give satisfactory description from the eating experience (very interesting) I gained while working in Malaysia for 3+ years. I thought I became more Malaysian but now I'm not so sure. Anyhow, at least not so American anymore.

This has been in the back of my head for a while. I wonder why when someone meet another person from his/her country, somehow they can get along. It's like they have something that binds them together. Same culture probably. However, I find that it's not as easy among Malaysians. Or maybe it's just me being not so Malaysian. Actually, how do you define being a Malaysian? Just by being a citizen or PR? What makes a Malaysian different from others?

After being back for 2 weeks, I realised that I dont have a "default" gang of friends in KL. Something like Friends, a group that you meet at least once a week to hang out. I always just meet up either one or two friends at a time. I guess I never realised this before when I was too busy with work. I wonder if most of my friends are also too busy with work? Or perhaps it's too much of a hassle to go out and meet up because of the traffic conjestion and parking problem? Or could it be that face to face meeting is no longer ncessary when we're already chatting with each other online? Sadly, the only group that I associate with often is my co-workers. Has this become our culture because we spent much more time at work? Are Malaysians becoming more individualistic? Maybe it's just me. Maybe I should put on a friendly face and go out and meet more people.

Staying at home is just so nice. I get to sleep in a much bigger and comfortable bed. I also have a bunch of furry friends for company. I can listen to music with a decent pair of Altec Lansing speakers and watch movies on a bigger screen. I have the freedom to go anywhere anytime with my car. No need to check schedule for bus or train. Shopping can be done conveniently in one place like in one of those big malls. Ooh.. and food, there's plenty to choose from. Shops, restaurants, cafes, etc are open till late. Plus 24h McD! I'll definately miss all these when I return to Trento.

I'm a person who makes lists; groceries list, packing list, travel list, etc. So when a friend asked if I have a list of food that I wanna eat when I return to Malaysia, I was surprised I didn't make one. Instead, I have a list of errands to get done. Most people I know would have cravings for certain food and would go all out to satisfy their cravings. I have tried many local food during the 3+ years working in Malaysia and I know what I'd like to eat again but I don't crave them. Makes me realised that I didn't become more Malaysian as I thought I have. During the past week, Japanese cuisine and family style chinese cuisine dominated my plate. The only hawker food I had was fishball noodles near my house. Perhaps I should make some effort to 'cari makan'. Hehe. So what am I missing?

1. Nasi Lemak
2. Char keoy teow
3. Wantan mee
4. Kari mee
5. Laksa
6. Tomyum noodle
7. Maggi/Indomee goreng
8. Satay
9.
10.

I know I shouldn't try to list the local food. It's too difficult! And too embarassing to mention how long I took to come up with the 8 items.

Took one and a half day, including lost of 6 hours in time transition, for the total journey to come home. No jet lag but feels like the weather is draining my energy. By the evening, I would feel tired after being out since morning. Sis just left for London this morning so I'll finally have time to do my own stuff. Since she was leaving, everyone was more concerned about getting her needs fullfilled. The one major lifestyle change I noticed is people here function at a faster pace, particularly at the dining table. When eating at home or lunch with colleagues, I feel pressured to eat faster and then I realised that I didn't enjoy the meal. I guess I unconsciously picked up a new habit from the Italians. I need 3 hours lunch time. Hehe.

So far the place looks the same except for the SMART tunnel and a few new bridges and new road traffic direction in the Bukit Bintang area. Still congested as usual during peak hours. Trying to be extra careful when driving and in small roads with no cars, it takes me a while to determine which is the right way of drive (Europe being the opposite)

Well, really hope to meet everyone I know especially those who are getting married. I'm sorry for not being able to attend the weddings.